Disclaimer: I wrote this when I was hungry.
If you know me, you’ll know I loooooooooove to eat. My favourite thing about Christmas is the food, hands down, and I just love a substantial meal.
Christmas is the time for sooo much good food – roast dinners, desserts, Boxing Day buffets, chocolates and treats. I literally cannot wait (I sound so fat lololol).
But, with anything, with the good also comes the bad and sadly there are so many Christmas foods that are just not hitting it with me tbh. So, I thought I’d share my definitive list of Christmas food. The absolute worst to the absolute best. Within reason of course, otherwise not only would I be here all day, but I’d be so flippin’ hungry too.
I’m going to start with the worst and work my way down in order (just to save confusion in case you think I actually like Christmas pudding. Nah sozzzzz)
10. Christmas pudding
Say Christmas pudding. Christmas and pudding in the same sentence. Surely this should be the best thing you could literally ever ever taste? Like Christmas and pudding are two of the greatest things, so WHY is Christmas pudding so bloody disgusting? Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that you have to set it on fire first? Whaaaat. Not in my books sorry m8.
Controversial I know, but I just find gingerbread so sickly after a while. I can eat it, yes, but definitely wouldn’t pick it out of the biscuit tin. Why would you even do that when you’ve got choco hobnobs, custard creams and choco bourbons there?
I do like trifle, but again I wouldn’t pick it if there were other desserts. The custard, yes, the cream, yes, but it’s something about when the sponge goes all soggy in the jelly that makes me feel weird lol
7. Brussel sprouts
I never used to like brussel sprouts, but as I’ve got older I don’t actually mind the taste. And, because the only time you eat them is at Christmas, they kinda symbolise Christmas in a weird weird way lol. Apparently there’s a way of cooking them that prevents them tasting like farts too. Bonus
6. Christmas ham
Cold Christmas ham on a Boxing Day buffet is just the one really, especially with a lil selection of coleslaw, pickled onions and cheese. The salty goodness.
5. Cheese and chutney and crackers
Cheese. Cheese and chutney. Cheese on crackers. Cheese and chutney on crackers. Cheese and ham. Melted cheese. Soft cheese. Just cheese at Christmas is a must, especially when you get loads of different types and make a little cheese board with different chutneys and feel all sophisticated and temporarily enter a cheese coma. Life is good.
4. Turkey and cranberry sauce
There’s something so great about getting a nice juicy bit of turkey on your fork, and slathering on a spoonful of cranberry sauce. The taste is just divine. Turkey on its own… meh. Cranberry sauce on its own… definitely not. But put the two together and it literally tastes like Christmas (if that’s possible). Even better, turkey sandwiches after Christmas.
Those who know me know that I can literally have gravy with anything. And when I do, I need lots of it plz. What’s the point in having gravy if your food isn’t swimming in it? The best gravy must be thick, and ideally contain the juices from whichever meat used. DELICIOUS.
2. Roast potatoes
I love roast potatoes. All crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. Combine with gravy for maximum effect. Not so good cold though, which is probably the only downside.
Or pigs in blanket if you’re too cool to say pibs. Seriously though lol, sausage (great), wrapped in bacon (even greater) and swimming in gravy. I could eat just a bowl of these at Christmas and be content. Sod the turkey and everything else on this list for that matter. Give me pibs and I’ll be fine.
So there we have it. My definitive list of Christmas foods from best to worst. Not gonna lie it was hard picking just 10 tbh but didn’t want to bore the socks of everyone. What are your favourite foods at Christmas?